Since I’ve been staying at my parents house, I started trying to build this friendship with the wild life around the woods of their home.
There are about 10-15 different deer out here that we see daily. At first, I would drive by slowly …. And then I decided it would be a good idea if I stop and roll down the window and talk to them. Say things like “its me your momma”. I got to a point in “our friendship” that it was safe to get out of the car and walk towards them.
This week, I bought some carrots. I carry them in my car and throw to them as I walk towards them. I think its working….
Tonight, I am so excited because as it gets dusk, I am taking the boys with me to the woods to see if the deer will let us yet a little closer.
Its an exciting life that I live, I tell ya.
Its a good thing Eric’s working late, he’s not as big on this whole “convincing the deer that I’m their momma” thing…
This is how I always knew life was supposed to be But for some reason it just could never get there.
I always desired to be thought of and somehow it left me aching. I wanted to enjoy new seasons approaching but as time grew closer, I learned to hold on tight. I knew I was capable of giving so much but I felt how much it cost every time. I continued to dream….
I sit here in a dream tonight. Totally blown away that this is my life. I was sitting at starbucks today looking at a little flyer advertising the Holland Tulip Festival and it made me smile. Only I will understand what it meant to me. I think maybe the “average” girl would go on taking this life that I call a dream for granted. I won’t, I refuse. I am so Blessed. Thank you.
On August 13th, 2007, I was alone at my house (another lonely night without my children) and I began to cry out to God to release the loneliness that I had been experiencing for so long… I BEGGED Him! I wrote down these words:
GOD, I beg you to take this loneliness that I feel, This desire to be wanted and truly loved. I turn to you
I taped that card to my wall filled with so many other verses and words that God had brought to me during my
journey of divorce. And then I sat down and wrote out a list of what I knew I was looking for and needed and placed it in my Bible, trusting in Him.
I fell asleep peacefully that night.
It was the next weekend that Mr. Eric Bruce Wagenmaker and I would cross paths again. He asked me to go get some coffee. Seven months later, and I have still have goosebumps. (#19 on my list).
I’m not the average girl.
I have a reason to SMILE
Last night the boys and I spent our first night at my parents. My dad made a triple bunk bed for the boys in their room and I took over the computer room… I have been dragging my feet at this move for a while, trying to hold onto my independence. Today I feel FREE…. I needed this. I can’t do it on my own, I need everything that I know my parents house can give all of us….. Such as: