Here it is 9:30 at night and I have this feeling all over again… Throughout each day it hits me at some point, it has for years now. I begin to replay my day in my head and then I begin to ask this question… Have I done all that I was created for today? I don’t know why I’m so compelled with this thought, but I can never shake it, which usually drives me to do just one more thing before I end my day, hence this post. I mean, sure, I could veg out and turn on the tv and lull myself to sleep, but the thought would remain.
I wasn’t always like this. Everything changed for me one summer day in 2011 during a 15 minute car ride. I was having an external conversation with God about my life. I wanted to know what in the world my purpose was. I don’t think it was a mid-life crisis, but rather a season of ...there has to be more to life than this.
I was living the dream. I had all of the things that should bring me satisfaction and fulfillment – a husband, wonderful children, a meaningful job, a beautiful home, a growing church family, and a Godly family nearby, but there was still a whole in my heart that needed more of something, but I didn’t know what.
During the ride, I remember getting all excited and feeling like I had the strength to change the world. I was confident that God wanted to use me for something BIG, but I still wasn’t exactly sure for what. Don’t get me wrong, all of the roles I was already living were wonderful, but I felt infused to dream for even more.
We only get one life.
One chance to accomplish the purpose we were put here for. When all is said and done, I want to know that I did what I was put here to do. Even if it was chasing after BIG DREAMS that never become… because I can live with that.